The inertia of restlessness

I am consumed by fear and anxiety. I seek a repreive.
I am in pursuit of an illusion - an elusive ideal. Trivial pursuit it is.
Life is so routine and meaningless that it is addictive. Trance-like.
One step after another.
One step after another.
One step after anoth.
One step aft.
One step.
One.

When you search for something for too long, you forget what you are searching for. But search you will because search you must.

Its a patient and enduring restlessness.

Its almost like relativity. The inertia of rest is not too different from the inertia of restlessness. I dont know what my state is. Should I stop to check. Or I should I spur to move?

And does it really matter?