Wednesday, February 02, 2005

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Monday, January 31, 2005

Escape from ennui

I feel detached from myself. I need an escape. The clock ticks on and the days just go by. I need to redeem myself.

What do I want to do ?

Ennui is complete persecution of the spirit. And my spirit is reeling. But I know it will bounce back.

It's hard to know what to do in life when you're mind is working out how to spend the next few hours. I would be surprised if there aren't others in the world who are feeling like me right now.

Intellectually stagnated.

When you randomly pick one of the four walls that encloses you and stare at it in a mixture of awe, disbelief and frustration - and imagine it staring back at you - you know it is not the most productive minute spent in your life. But sometimes you wonder : maybe it is ?

Retrospection and introspection often come after a defeat. Ennui comes after anything. And so it happens to me now.But I will face it head on.

I will seek small happiness in the joys that result in seeing my thoughts translate into bits and bytes and tiny characters on the virtual domain that has redeemed me from the wilderness of the real domain. And I will continue to do so. For the spirit of a man will never fail him, until he kills it.